MC Rises

by Mad Conductor

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03:37
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04:38

credits

released June 26, 2013

All songs written, performed and produced by Mad Conductor - M.C. Devlin and Dan McKinney (2011-2013)

Cash Moore - Bass on tracks 1, 2, 3, 12; hand percussion on track 1; backing vocals on tracks 1, 2, 12, 13

Josh Nethken - Saxophone on tracks 1, 2; backing vocals on tracks 1, 2

All lyrics by M.C. Devlin (except *** by Chester Knebel and **** by Bryan Yannantuono)

Recorded by Dan McKinney @ Dan's House Studios, Center Valley, PA

Jessie Reyez - vocals on track 1 **

Featuring: Erika Mejia - vocals on tracks 1*, 2*

Federico Mejia - backing vocals on track 1*

Chester Knebel - *** raps on track 8

Bryan Yannantuono - **** vocals on track 11

Cormel Lee - backing vocals on track 11

Angelina - backing vocals on track 12

Jacelyn - backing vocals on track 12

Jason Flyte - backing vocals on track 12; baritone and backing vocals on track 13

( * recorded by Chris Lanthier at Festival Studios, Kenner, LA) ( ** recorded by KIZ at Studio 32, Toronto)

Art by Kevin James Lennertz

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Track Name: MC Rises
MC RISES

I was alarmed by the morning news
So I threw a tiger palm strike to the snooze
Smashed it pieces, but I was sleepless
So I arose and crafted a thesis
Roaches love tooth paste, they'll eat it all night
So leave the cap on, pass the mic
And I'll teach you how to get a rap on
Shed some light for you to clap on
All the rudegirls call me Space Rocker #1
It's the Ward Chief MC Devlin
Never partied out like Phil in the Gremlin
While you're tremblin', I'm steady assemblin'
Alive as I drive a Durango 95, I'm taking a dive
If you're feeling sad I got a junkyard dog
and a bass-line shaking the hive
It's a real jam-splitter, with a neural transmitter
taking your taste buds from sour to bitter
Stand back y'all, it's a powerful hitter
Play the warning track, go on
Clean up all the litter while you're out there
Everybody shout "yeah"!
Gonna bring it down here for the world renown man who makes you loco
It's Mr.McKinney, to derail a train from the track with a penny

And then there's me, the mayor of Loungopolis
Laid back on the mic for the populace
I offer your section rap protection
Phone the DJ, make a selection
In Boston with a big dog in no muzzle
Trying to run, I got you caught in the middle
Crossing words up, forming a puzzle
Then I will shake the can n' tag you up with a riddle
Brightly shone is a signal lit like a shimmering phantom in the sky
As you ask yourself in these times of violence
"How will I ever survive?"
Let me be Frank, like Castle, I'm gonna get lethal
Even Buddha had to conquer evil
We're living in a city full of peril and danger
Where it is a gamble even leaving the manger
That's why I'm rockin' these spiky gauntlets
Lots of gangs want to crush me to bits
Even if they kill me I'll haunt through hits
I'll be dead and my wits still burn through mitts
Trying to handle the masters tools, chances are you'll get cut
While you're lifting weights, I'm shifting plates
'til all the volcanoes erupt
I stir up the rivers and roil the seas
Heat up the oil for boiling thieves
Rising high above a redwood tree
Is an uppercase M and a capital C

Galaxy to Galaxy there is no place we can't go
When Devlin's on the microphone and Dan is on piano

MC Rises, full of surprises, master of disguises
We're fully permitted to demolish your demo
Didn't you get the memo?

Podemos volar por todos las nebulosas
Cuando M C se enloquece con las cosas

MC Rises
Track Name: The Devlin Manor of Speech
THE DEVLIN MANOR OF SPEECH

My rhyme-book's a sewer trench covered in graffiti
Riddled with apparitions so no vagrants pitch a tipi
It's here I've recorded many deep space missions
As a preposition magician or a noun scoundrel
with the adjective broadsword, I'll make you walk the verb plank
like the rudegirl who poured sugar in my word bank
Now I gotta squeeze a golden goose for the filling
of the cavity, it got real as the dentist was stabbing me
I socked him in the chops with a tube of Crest in fist
And dipped from the office with the cute receptionist
I'm a silver-bullet tongue cunning linguist
Besieged Wolfenstein and I'm still learning English
I taught myself to read so I could goof off in school
Who knew one day I would grab the mic and act a fool
I once wore my clothes backwards at a talent show
Now I write grim rhymes like Edgar Allan Poe
I took the stage gallantly on world wide tours
For ten bucks an hour I'll pressure wash your floors
On every song I sent 'em, I've been interjecting venom
My conjunction is a function between speech and rhythm

Bread-Butter-Cheese-Meat-Cheese-Butter-Bread
Can you get what I'm saying through your head?
Eco-catastrophe, geodesic dome upon the cinder cone
Blue ribbon microphone tone
Bread-Butter-Cheese-Meat-Cheese-Butter-Bread
Kid, get what I'm saying through your head
Our bass stimulation is a space simulation
Magnified sun ray, face incineration

My wife is a Latina, four legged ballerina
who I met while drinking quarts of ports in Catalina
Last night she saw my statue in a dream
with many spouts pouring my mortal blood forming a stream
And wash their hands did many lusty Romans
It doesn't take a genius to know when trust an omen
I henched it back to the trenches for a thousands cenches
Looking like a caveman on the benches
When suddenly a star from the belt of Orion
came flying out the sky at me screaming like a siren
I wield a mitt like a shield, swing a bat like a sword
and smashed it to pieces like a rotten gourd
The result was an explosion of such magnitude
the entire universe cracked and snapped in two
Grabbing one side in my left hand, the other in my right
I slapped 'em back together and screwed the lags tight
A banquet was held that night, fools were grillin'
Oxen were slaughtered and the people got their fillin'
Wine was served, bowl after bowl
Fifty or sixty rounds, it was out of control
Despues la fiesta, yo fui por siesta
Por favor mi esposa, no mas pesadillas!
Track Name: Bat Swoops Down
BAT SWOOPS DOWN

Like Ledger made Nicholson look like Romero
My style makes a Pterodactyl look like a sparrow
Fly as the violent path of a crossbow arrow
Piercing your bone, going straight through the marrow
I come from the asylum in the bowels of the narrows
I got you in a warehouse strapped to a barrels
Drinkin' nog, rapping holiday carols
While I'm still Rockin' that seasonal, bullet-proof apparel
Living by the plant left y'all punks sterile
Where as I'm avid and virile, rather rabid and feral
I bust through the sentries at the gate
Now I'm gonna heavily precipitate
With raging winds that crush your bones beneath your skin
Upon these banks is an ancient temple
In the burial grounds we'll assemble
A languid silence upon the doomed
To be continued or to be entombed
That is the question, MC Rises, court is in session
And my court is a court of no fun
(On with the procession!)
Your rap is a bore, elementary rhyming
Confined to the 4/4 timing
Blue square chumps, I'm hitting the jumps on a double black diamond
Widen the sky and revolutionizing
A brand new style, y'all fools get climbin'
Devlinola, I dare you to step to me
Riding the clouds in the storm of the century
Taming the dragon
So why are you bragging about capping a deputy?
I destroyed the whole force and one thousand armies
with my disastrous recipe
Jabronies, fraudulent phonies
You're lackin' flavor even doused in Tony's
I slaughter the whole cow herd with a halberd plus the ponies,
And I chopped your tongue off for speaking a foul word
No, I really can't condone these
mannerless heathens with no respect
Their selfish actions are very deplorable
I'm on the set with a wolf-toothed cudgel
I'm a rap Shao Kahn and I'll smash thou's song
The result was horrible, though perhaps still a bit too subtle

Detained for observation
Broke free from where he was bound
Sights locked in on a location
Then rudeboy bombs up the town

I live day to day by the skin of my teeth
My sword never gets one second to rest in the sheath
At peace, I'm beyond belief or disbelief
These simple quandaries are a falling leaf
In the sea of wonder that I stand beneath
Showers and thunder, pillage and plunder
The village is under, ten feet of water
Head for the high-grounds, All band together
Don't turn savage, Let arrows fly if fiends ravage
When they land it'll boost your average
I carry out courageous deeds
Keep track of 'em on the abacus beads
If from outta the reeds comes a bayou rugaru
Slashing the tires on your Subaru
Don't fear, I'll appear with the silver spear bravely rescuing you
I can accept no reward, I deserve no praise or even applaud
I'm an ordinary man with a few simple talents
I've taken an oath and accepted the challenge
protect the people, defend the planet
Abate the nefarious ones and preserve the balance
Track Name: One Solid Connection
ONE SOLID CONNECTION

I was working in my lab, late one night
Chillin' on the slab, waiting for the lightning to strike
Now my dog has hands, and I have paws
Sometimes experiments will leave you with claws
So I slash what's left of your funeral rites
I slash a mic open and the cable ignites
I'll burn your bridge so you can't finish the song
'Cause that thing's been playing way too long
While you're in the river drowning your label head is frowning
I drag him to England and then loan him a pounding
Now his stupid white fur coat turns red
Like he's at the formal getting buckets dumped on his head
I'm blasting your fans like an out of tune brass band
My raps can leave the stands abandoned like Jazz Land
Or they can hypnotize the crowd,
but never sympathize with weak emcees
ALL MUST BE MINIMIZED
I'm like a robot programmed to do it
Rockin' body armor over top a black tunic
My thoughts are protected by a helmet of iron
With a menacing face-mask I'll tell when you're lying
I'm the king in the sub-basement of the underground
Gettin' down with the most thunderous sound
You're a derelict degenerate, plague of humanity
I'm jumping from the twelfth floor to land on the canopy
Bounce to the street where we meet to do battle
I've got the Kwan Dao to ensure my survival
I go beneath the surface like Sektor in combat
Uppercut your monocle and knock back your top-hat
If life's got you down and you're feeling morose
Buy a vile of my venom and then try out a dose
From the handle of my cane I brandished a knife
And etched into the brain "MC FOR LIFE"

Wealth is no mark of nobility,
nor do clothes in abundance prove chivalry
Greed is the result of blindness to reality
And this is the plight of humanity

I drink a gallon of kombucha tea and wait for the rain
It never came so we kept playing the game
A swirl of dark grey now anchored in the heavens
It was all tied up in the top of the seventh
The skipper made a double switch
He brought me in to play third base and Dan McKinney to pitch
It went one, two, three, now it's time to wake the bats
Shaking the cave walls with sonar raps
I grabbed a stalagmite, ripped it from the ground
Bringing terror in the eyes of the chump on the mound...
("Here's Typhoeus from the stretch...
Earlier today he said his arm was a cannon,
but it's M-C-D that the crowd is chanting!)
You know I never like to let a crowd down
Just like rocking a show with the loud sound
I started slamming my chest like an ape in the mist
and pointed my cudgel toward the starry abyss
What happened to the pitch he was about to throw?
Hear my next verse if you'd like to know!

I swing with the force of a mountain dividing
One solid connection sends 'em all flying
I sent a shot to center, Otis Nixon is chasing
Climbing up the wall like a flying Grayson
Ascending the summit he extended his hand
but the towering drive crashed into the stands
That's my whole philosophy: give back to the fans
With many souvenirs and solid gold jams
Needless to say, we went on to clinch the pennant
After all it's our home and we had to defend it
We're blowing up your shed with a stereo bomb
Y'all fools run around like Jerry and Tom
I'm a mean rap scallion,
a hip-hop bandit from the water margin and I brought a barge in
Leveled my spear and started charging
I'll never beg your pardon
I'd rather die than live like you and your department
What's crucial to you is immaterial to me
What gives us both life you destroy foolishly
So never consider me part of your organization
My brain operates on a different vibration
Track Name: High Chieftain
HIGH CHIEFTAIN

Stab my trident into the sky, I am the King
Test my skills against any style that you may bring
No, you never did stand a chance
I've always been light-years ahead

Once I was lost in an Ausable Chasm of thought
A desolate place where a battle was fought
I was just a kid not long ago
with some administrator telling me, “son, you better flow to the status quo”
To my death I would not row
I swam upstream and against the current
Beheaded the lecherous demon serpent
I manned up quick as my name was engraved in the mission
Kicked in the door and was assured a position
High Chieftain, there I stood
Fighting for all that's good,
in the name of chivalry and brotherhood
Convert those who became persuaded by ways of evil
Alert foes that I won't submit until they place the people
Above wealth and material gain
Distribute cereal grain
I seek to end famine with imperial reign
I once raced in tangled ways, now my battle is righteous
I won't be defeated, even if lifeless
The next generation will spawn my likeness
To carry on my fight with might for the bound and flightless
To death you thought that I would plummet
But I've persevered, and I'm rising toward the summit

There is no match for the ever-victorious king
I shine like a bright full moon a'center a glorious ring
Golden shackles have been opened
Locks of jade pulled asunder
Boundaries in the mind destroyed
Countless stars across the daunting void
to compliment the many styles that I've employed
A turbulent river snakes an icy mountain
Hungry badger seizes trout from raging rapids
Select a delectable stew chock full of tender chunks of prawn
Then I enter the beyond...
...Where in flames you hoped I would meet demise
But I survived and I'm forever on the RISE!
Track Name: Super Solar Prominence
SUPER SOLAR PROMINENCE

My hip-hop's like a poisonous frog
Across a celestial smog
Devouring stars with the gluttony Pac-Man had for pellets
A rabid rap ravenous dog
Attacking with a wild pack in the fog
In my ascent to madness an alternate universe is developed
Dragon smoke black wings fluttering in the moonlight (It's him!)
Corpulent jargon, resembling a nice juicy duck (with the trim!)
Poly-alphabetic, trochaic heptametric orbit irregulator
My rap cipher is the outer most ring of Saturn
and shrouded in vapor
Retrograde motion, spiraling pattern to the depths of a cavern
Now you're in the dark, with real country dark
Let this be the lantern

Super Solar Prominence Funk
Irregular Space Rock for your nebula
We're doing this for the nebula
We're doing this for the nebula
(And the quasar also)

Every morning I light the sun
then slice a bun and spread jam on it
A werewolf on Mars has twice the fun
Who could handle it?
I'm ferocious, expialadocious
stellar psychosis
Meteor Shower on your look out tower, took out power
Now it's cook out hour, and I've got a voracious appetite
In one short cycle of the moon I digest a satellite
Black hole soul, bout with red giants
Now in dead silence
The wickedest tyrants run from my dominance
Super-Solar Prominence Funk over all
Crash your gala with a wrecking ball I made from Jupiter
and the same chains that once bound me to the wall

It was nice and sunny
When Ursa Major tried to heist my honey
At first I chased her, but eventually relented
and then presented a comb for the bear
'Cause I got plenty sweet treats to share
Upon the first taste all fur fell from her face
Girth disappeared from her waist
Leaving the shape of lady in it's place
A mighty fine asterism, liberated from her beastly prison
Now she can bathe in the oceans waves on the horizon at last
As I was blasting off she reached out for my hand and asked
How could she ever thank me? To which I made a reply:
Just keep dancing to my super-solar prominence funk in the sky
Track Name: Conduct the Madness
CONDUCT THE MADNESS

I chuck songs like pumpkin bombs from Demogoblin
Run and take cover if you heard my single droppin'
Notify the Marshall with the feed back from the full stack
It's best to pull back
Respect that, MC Devlin the Large
Dealing out another hand of poison edged cards
My whiplash wire sets fire to the shire
and I'm taking y'all higher than a mega volt charge
The eater of worlds, stickin' eight with a skewer
I warp through wards like Pennywise in the sewer
In a smelling foulness that you can't imagine
I open up the aqueduct and let it flood the beauty pageant
Peelin' out the spiderweb like an ape gone bananas
I raise a pen in Transylvania and Louisiana
I'm always guided back home by the melody
where the loose pit won't stop biting Penelope

It has always been my wildest desire
to pulverize psychopathic criminals while in stylish attire
A well-trained conductor who when made mad
Couldn't be stopped with a half a million breaks pads
Truncate v-necks and wreck crews
Run a Sawzall blade blade through your deck screws
Hit the studio, lay down tracks
I'm in and out, two or three casualties max
Plus size model raps, blubbery blueberries bubbles
bursting like kombucha bottle caps
Climb a thorny vine to the nine sacred muses
Imbibe lime flavored juices
Now I write songs to make the air sound nicer
And drown out the rattling noise in your Chrysler
Rockin' the mic like Harry Kalas
My only pitch is a screw ball and I'm tone deaf
I broke the rules of music and became my own ref
I'm ill as spawns cape, you're whack as Archie's sweater
If you claim MC, I'll purloin a letter
It's in plain sight, not hidden in subtext
I shine bright light on myriad of subjects
then my atoms dissipate and disperse
"what was that?"
"It was MC Devlin rapping yet another prodigious verse!"

Strong arm a beat like O.G. Octavius
Armed to the teeth like a Presa Canario
My eight fold path now controls the whole radius
Brainwash waves warp minds through your stereo
Write down your troubles in a letter
Then mail it first class to a shredder
We've risen from the trench to lance a boil cluster
M-A-D-C-O-N-Ductor!
Track Name: Otras Dimensiones
OTRAS DIMENSIONES

Paralelo con la corteza
Como un disco volteando en la mesa
Estoy perpendicular con el sistema solar
Volar por la estrella
El hombre lobo en la nave espacial
Casco de vidrio mente
Hago añicos los perimetros
y los fragmentos son puentes
hacia otras dimensiones

Una mujer que defendia su vida con dos manos
Manera suave como el poblano
Distante del resto del mundo,
donde las reglas son nulos
Ella perdona toda la gente
y se ve profundamente
Vio el mal volver a las tinieblas
así nació una nueva estrella!

Yo vivo en ciento veintedos y un octavo
En mi pizza no quiero pescado
Mi esposa la sombra,
Mi madre oscuridad,
Mi hija frecuencia bajo
Invisiblemente
Estas siempre
Adentro mi tormenta violenta
sin tu sensei
Despellar este gatito
No se ve ni jota, dale la bota!

Siempre estoy en dos sitios a la vez
pero mi cabeza en tres
Nadie cree una palabra de lo que dicen...
porque sólo escriben!
Me distraigo con los sueños.
y cuando me levanto yo no lo comprendo.
¿Por qué se ha ido? y donde yo esté.
los cuerpos celestes están flotando
Vivo sin gravedad!
miro hacia el futuro, nunca detrás!
Track Name: Atop an Ice Cap
ATOP AN ICE CAP

At elementary level, I appeared to be
Not taking my student career seriously
The teacher would send letters home,
And make me wear a pointy hat like David the Gnome
'Til I ran outside and smashed a sledge hammer with a fire hydrant
And stayed pounding on,
Even the whole town frowned upon the ground my sound was founded on
Maybe I'm off my hinges
Or the soil in my heart is too stony
We can all go a little mad sometimes
In this no poor soul is lonely
Speak of the Devlin and he shall appear
Swinging in on a gold chandelier
I cause a clamor with my claw hammer grammar
Chop wire taps with my rap fire ax
Non-smoker, stir the embers with a long poker
Ankle sock mix-matcher
Always having fun so the clock ticks faster and faster
Ah, what a life!
I've fashioned armor to repel death's scythe
And in Modesto I went to war with Mephisto
I wasn't impressed though
The magic he used was decent at best
With a single spear thrust I opened his chest
Darkness did flow profusely from the fissure of his wounded form
I pierced it innumerable times, so my light shone through and space was born

Rack 'em up, rack 'em up, rack 'em up
(There's trouble on the way)
Rack 'em up, rack 'em up, rack 'em up
(That's what folks 'round here all say)

Everything comes full circle and this is spherical
So who's in the mood for a Christmas miracle?
I hit the dynamic mic like a luge
Switch my style like Ebeneezer Scrooge
I'm no daily beggar going door to door
I'm your friendly neighbor you've seen before
The mixed creation of Bob Kane and Dante
A Bat out of Hell, liberamente
Detect this comet, examine my capital
My economy defines comedy
I eat raw pork with a three prong fork
And extract worms on my way to work
I'm a saw-tooth shark who's cutting figure eights in your brainwaves
With my band tuning up on the main stage
I never went mad for the same craze or ran around in a maze
From atop an ice cap I watch 'em bicker
The burg beneath me is bogging quicker
As a caterpillar will cut through leaves
A mighty deluge will uproot trees
And with no timber left to mill
All of us will be homeless with nil
So fret not, with much persistence
you'll worry that sickness into existence
One law we're all captive under
The fact that we always used to be younger
Just be thankful you're still getting older
The only alternative is much colder!
Track Name: Clash of Staves
CLASH OF STAVES

I push a rap passed the max load
Rock a red cap like the Smack's toad
I'll snap and go Jax mode with an ax if a stack's owed
you'll need your back sewed
Each one of my cuts becomes infected and gangrenous
I wouldn't be going out on a limb to say you couldn't hang with this
A lot of little rappers scorn this pen
Cooking them and all their friends on the grill like Cornish hens
George Foremen sends many condolences
We had to knock the fat out
I keep an emcee dizzy and his cutman busy
No birds around your head, I bring the bats out
Then I banish your style with the push of a button
You're lost in space with a bunch of dumb pigs who just won't stop grunting
Once you flip then you'll jump ship
And get ripped to strips by my ninja star constellation
From the station with a six piece band, mic in each hand
I am a deep peaceful man, driving five under in a street legal van
The world today in disarray
With matchless courage I brandish a long battle ax and plunge into the fray
Where Many foes wish to eradicate me
I feint east, then strike west, parry south, hit north, like that I stay free
We've got no troubles, so pop those snot nose bubbles
And if won't stop raining then we're just gonna stomp through puddles

The head honcho, my rhymes smell like a bushel of cilantro
and my song is like Daewon upon a table going gonzo
For the cherry jelly, I flipped on the mic like Vallely
You choked on stage, so I gave you a mind-body fist to the belly
It's no laugh when my bassist slaps with a bo-staff
An up-right strung tight with the cables of an elevator shaft
The vibrations will shake from your 90 foot scaffold
Buckets of paint will crash down upon your head
You shouldn't have raffled
I keep a rap rolled up in a nine link chain whip
When the tip hits, it trips the main chip, with this your brain flips
If life was an album, I would be the song you wanna skip
In peace I rip every star from your boulevard and darken the strip
Sometimes you've gotta cross the street without looking
Weave between cars and buses, duck under tractor trailers
and keep booking
We've all got someplace to be
And I'm wanted on the frigid peak
with the double-edged sword at a quarter to three
Though we've got no worries, It's just a little wind and some flurries
But if it won't stop snowing then we'll just sled down what it buries

I will always be your comrade
I'll always be a good friend who's looking out for you
I will always be your comrade
Wearing warpaint on my face, showin' out for you
Track Name: All Men Are Brothers
ALL MEN ARE BROTHERS

Constant turmoil pollutes the world and brings spoil
Money's not the root of all evil, it's the soil
From which a Crooked, twisting tree protrudes
To cast it's shadows on the plants beside it
Now we're blinded from the true light and raised in ultra violence
All Men Are Brothers, of the same spring
Our river was damned when greed became king
It's royal subjects objective is to maim or kill
to gain what amounts to nothing,
and there remain, mosquitoes swarm when the pool is still
Some chose to look the other way,
soon the other way will reflect the same sick display
Each nation a station of hell's dark stair case
Youth in descent, a vile beast marks their face
There march they save for one grace
One radiant light cutting through the vast blackness
An honor of our universal brotherhood in mass practice
Setting aside frivolous conquest, we see progress
If one man is hungry, all men need
If one man is cut, all men bleed,
One path all men lead

(INSERT CHINESE SYMBOLS)
All men are brothers!

Men who spoke the truth were gunned down in cold blood
And we're drowning in same old flood
Lost in hypnosis
Pleasure mistaken for happiness causes widespread psychosis
To grind against the jagged edge is adjacent to hopeless
By using tension you sacrifice mobility
And stand stagnated in futility; picket signs won't afflict the minds of malicious ministers
or quell their insatiable thirst for wealth that drains an order of corpses,
a strike must be made from within the sorcerer's fortress
A corrupt system will never undergo metamorphosis by being passively berated,
It must be infiltrated
and once control is seized, the heathen agenda is more easily obliterated,
To reduce the slaughter use the fire, but be like water
I am a man of no merit, limited to the verse
I'll die poor and leave behind only words
Could it be enough to inspire another?
If they fry my right side, they'll also need to grill the other
No torture could ever make me turn on my brother
Track Name: A Knight Amidst Chaos
A KNIGHT AMIDST CHAOS

A carnival parade, a joyous way to spend an evening
But what transpired, you'll have trouble believing
It was the 29th of February, as I recall
Ash colored clouds produced a light rain fall
The showers wouldn't stop revelers from celebration
Multitudes assembled at the festive occasion
Elaborate floats with extravagant sculptures at the helm
Of mythical creatures from mystical realms
Men and women made merriment, children laughed excitedly
Then from the sky came a great blast of lightening
A lofty live oak collapsed on a power main
Cables writhed on the street like worms split it twain
Wind sent the flayed wires sparking up the block
Delivering to what they touched such powerful shocks
The stupendous floats received tremendous jolts
of what I estimate to be about 1 billion volts!
The next occurrence I feel batty to attest
Bare with me good listener, and hear out the rest
The fearsome float figures made of paper mache
awoke and from their crafts and began tearing away
Two fire breathing dragons and a hulking harlequin
a jewel encrusted elephant, and an immense suited skeleton
Also the Minotaur and a most hideous demon
Ran rampant in the rain sending those revelers screamin'
The police fired shots at the colossal foes
Most were trampled to death....so it goes
Buildings were crumbled, vehicles overturned
People fled pell mell as their homes were burned
As the city saw the reaper's sickle come into view
I sprang into action, as I am one to do
Between the two dragons, bravely I stood
Taunting them to burn me as best as they could
With dog like agility I leapt from my place
And the dragons engulfed one another in flames
The giant jester, jumped along, juggling cars
Smashing 'em on the floor like quick draws guitars
I raced to the next the one he chose for his play
Stuffed my shirt in the gas tank and set it ablaze
An explosion ensued enveloping the clown
A hail colorful confetti fell to the ground
The gem-adorned elephant was running amok
When I noticed an abandoned concessions truck
I packed 50 fifty pounds peanuts into a sack
And motioned the mighty mammal over for a snack
As the elephant dined, I gently petted his trunk
Then he wrapped it around me and lifted me up
Friends we became and onward we strode
Sparing no effort, in the chaotic episode
The over-sized skeleton danced in dapper clothes
Knocking down lampposts and telephone poles
Toward the finely dressed Ghost of John
on my gold-tusked elephant I charged head on
Colliding full force into the base of his shins
All of his bones flew this and that-a-way like bowling pins
The Minotaur stomped about city ramming in
store front doors and windows, eating mannequins
I propped a model up behind an open manhole
And unleashed a shout to the unwitting manimal
He raced forth and fell down into the sewer system
An impossible labyrinth he'll never escape from
One day I'll have a son to teach my sword techniques
He'll descend into the foul maze and decapitate the beast
A single menace left, the most dastardly one
The bat-winged demon with the black snake tongue
Mounted upon an old, decrepit cathedral
The dark general directed a battalion of evil
A throng of cadavers he amassed in force
By robbing every grave in the city of it's corpse
An army of this many was too much for one man
So using my mind I devised a plan
I sped to the city outskirts by the wharf
To the warehouse where old parade floats were stored
The figures of gods who inspired great poems
Slumbering there in their fiberglass forms
Dionysus, the god of wine and revelry
Proteus, mutable god of the sea
Morpheus, the god who appears in your dreams
Mercury, the god of success and trickery
My wish was to awaken these divine four
to assist in vanquishing the archfiend in war
With a couple copper cables hooked to a battery
I jumped the first one, then zapped the other other three
Instantly the great sculptures came to life
And desperately I told them of my current strife
Eager to serve, we marched on with courage
To save our fair city from the maleficent scourge
The demon divided his army into four separate flanks
Each one stationed behind fortified banks
His red skin flared, his tail pointed with a spike
signaling his troops to advance and strike
Our band was ready, we held our position
Proteus loaned me his three pronged spear for the mission
The first god to act was he from the vineyard
Pouring from his endless jug he flooded the contenders
The first flank was drowned in the rush of Merlot
The few who could stand were too drunk to stone a throw
Next to turn the tide was the god from the ocean
summoning a thousand seals in one swift motion
The canines of the sea were commanded to attack
Then in the form of a wave he washed away the second pack
With half an army left Morpheus took a stand
Cast a spell of hypnosis learned from his old man
Vaulting into their minds he cast horrible sights
The third flank ran frantically from the fight
Now Mercury stepped up disguised as the demon leader
And ordered the last few soldiers to follow
He led the regiment directly into the river
And by the violent current the fourth flank was swallowed
The demon's ire swelled as he watched his troops fall
With the weapon on my back, I scaled up the wall
Reaching the perch where the heinous one sat
I challenged my horned adversary to combat
Without a hesitation he whipped his tail around
Which I skipped like a rope and gave his skull a fierce pound
In a rage he rushed right at me full-fledged
I dodged and speared his wing as he fell over the edge
Plummeting like a rock for a twelfth of a mile
When he landed his heart was pierced by a sundial
Down below a crowd of spectators cheered
I thanked my four allies, who winked and disappeared
A ceremony was held in my honor the next day
both peasants and royalty had this to say:
"Long Live Devlin, the Noble MC"
"Who guides us through chaos to peace and safety"
And so I responded:
Hear ye, hear ye, my kindly neighbors
You need not thank me, but do me this favor
Raise up your vino, your ale, or your spirit
And lend an ear for a toast, should you care to hear it

May your waters be clean and your moons be many
Your foes be few and your pals be plenty
A toast to all of those elevated to knighthood
by raising their sword in the fight for good
Track Name: Ghost Band
GHOST BAND

Ghost band, rockin' the ghost jam
In the ghost van haunting the coast
Ghost band rockin' the ghost jam
Touring in the ghost van haunting the coast

It was a G30 motorhome, '76,
We were racking up the odometer clicks
Six in the band, plus a roadie and a dog
Headed to another show in an ominous fog
I was in the back like a dummy cold chillin'
with the deck sprawled out playing rummy five million
Six wheels spinnin' then one of 'em popped
but the shoulder was blocked, so we could not stop
Road work ahead, as we approached a cattle chute
along side a tractor trailer loaded with chicken coupes
Two forces collided and a victor emerged
It wasn't us, but the truck full of birds
It's bad when one thing becomes two
Especially when it is you
I marveled the world beyond the bug splattered glass
And then face first through it I did smash

I came to, feeling confused
To my astonishment I received not a bruise
And despite what I thought, the RV was still in one piece
So I called D's on the front seat
Posse present and ready to go
Thankfully we would not miss the show
We had a good scare but seemed to be alright
and on we continued in the cold, dark night
Made it to the club, fans lined around the corner
We barreled backstage where we found the promoter
He seemed to ignore us, it felt kinda rude
I figured the dude was just in a bad mood
When leaving the greenroom to set up our gear
I gasped at the ghastly sight in the mirror
There I beheld my rhythm section
were holding their instruments but had no reflection!

It was so, we had become apparitions
Incorporeal rap musicians
Seeing no need for further delay
I said check 1,2 and we began play
The audience stood in fear and shock
For they saw no form, but could hear us rock
a spectreful score they came to adore
soon on the dance floor they were screaming for more
It was a hip-hop seance, a jam phantasm
I splashed the whole crowd with ectoplasm
We rocked ghost jams from twelve til four
with people still pouring through the door
Flying around room, and floating through walls
We exited the stage to a roaring applause
Meanwhile the promoter snuck out with our loot
So we haunted his house 'til he jumped off the roof

I'm a supernatural rapper, I rock heavy chains
They aren't to flaunt, they're to haunt the stage
And nobody had to inform the coroner
That my man right here is an organ donor!

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