Mechanical Claw

by Mad Conductor

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Quick to draw, I've seen this place before Part the sand I want the rubies and the gold doubloons I've been hittin' the saloon since high-noon Mucho "qetuila" now I'm fired up Wormwood on ice in an iron cup I got an earache in my mind One eye in the lime and the iodine That tune of the honkytonk has got me doin' that zombie walk Skip to my lou and the 1, 2 haunt Better watch out for the posey hoes, dosey-doh, round we go X your O's like tic tac toe Where we stop don't roulette know But you ain't nothin but a number If you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen My lice are itchin' and whoah, this medicine is fuckin' bitchin Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, what's your monkey diagnosis? <Supercallifragilisticexpialadocious> Let me break it down I'm a hooligan from out of town Gettin' rude again with a louder sound Everything is connected like my wrist ankles and neck when i'm arrested My dome is doin' doughnuts in the dungeon, I am possess-ed Too many suits in the hood tonight, Cut a rug on the moon in the pale blue light What do you do when the dot on a question mark is a wormhole into Jurassic park? Beetlejuice, Bloody Mary, Candy Man. DRINK KOOLAID! Then I'm bouncin' off in a getaway boat down the highway facing the golden sun I hope you know to never argue with a crazy man You'll have a heart attack, you oughta know by now Circulating down to soot, try to stomp my foot, but it won't stay put Concentrate your weapon and keep it movin', everybody move it How do you like your music? Ill and fresh or dumb and stupid? I find it's easy to be green when I'm oozing I purchase product on Sullivan from a dependable vendor MR. CACCIATORE NEAR THE MEDICAL CENTER Pick, pick it up and pack it in Put it on down, pick it up again One, two, three, four through ten Take a big ass bite out of candied yams 'Cause I stay puffed like a marshmallow man Somebody better call Peter Venkman Egon Spengler, Winston and Ray I'm the ghost MC from around the way!
Oh, my friend, you have been grossly misinformed You've been diggin' that tomb straight out the womb To the morgue in a uniform So I guess that you best stick to writin' jingles 'Cause I got more craft in my trash than you got in your singles Yo, I copped this tape and it sent my dome to a crazy place It kinda put me in a dope like state So how many pigs would it take for me to let go of the mic backstage? Not enough to steal each one of my dimes, nickels and pennies So why waste all this time on rhyme riddles if anything I'll just jump the gun Like John Wilkes-Booth when it's time to run Hop the horse c'mon ride long Don't look now but I got your tongue, I love the blood but I don't do sun Sleep in a coffin so I can't see day Tomb diggin' shovel gonna ease the pain No drugs in the womb, b-b-but born insane I got bugs in my room and they're eating my brain 6-26-85 my first impression 4-5-22-12-9-14 but a name shouldn't dictate direction Call the hospital now you got a mixtape infection Let 'em run a couple tests on the lobe in the front Like, how many weeks in a minute Rudeboy spacetime, no you can't speak til your dinner is finished Have fun digesting the microphone sickness RUDE GIRL SLAMDANCE Dr. Teeth conductor mayhem Many, many volts, not one to be grounded You closed your eyes 'cause you liked how it sounded Shook it to the left, took it to the right Like that's how your sphere got mounted Oh yeah, say what Better, better, put your, put your mic down, sun
Mechanical claw, rips all the clocks off the wall Mechanical claw, mechanical claw Rips all the clocks off the wall Mechanical claw, mechanical claw Dumb quantities of skill for a bombshell I do my laundry at my mom's house Hear me now, MC DEVLIN I am no nitwit prone to folly I'll kickflip over anything you ollie, check it I never lose grip like an octopus Even when I'm runnin' from the constable Gettin' scoped out with binoculars They wanna see me in the tar like a dinosaur I'm sittin' in a chair (chair) I think I'm goin' loco I can't feel my fingers And I can't feel my toes, yo! The lord of the flies I'm eatin' a Danish Don't stress yourself out, sun The world is painless Hey, yo I'm T (T) J (J) motherfuckin' BACKWORDS I'm backwards, fuckin' with your brain (yes) Rappin' MCs make me think your fuckin' brainless And it's the strangest thing you've ever seen But it's not what you have seen, it's what you've been in your dreams I was a young buck skatin' solo 151 rum make me brain go loco Oh no, I can't see I'm spinnin' Bottle after bottle keep my monkey tone grinning So back it up before I smash it up (SMASH IT UP) Lay low, before I flip the flow (flip the flow) Crack your style 'cause mine's the shit (it's the shit) Rudeboy dance arsonist OH NO! Troubles in the sewer GO HOME! We got the newer manure Not enough space for the clocks down here Open up your face and remove the gears Stuck in a spiral Crushing sundials Unborn to dead Is how we spin the vinyl Where from come thy drum? Who keep thy beat? You aren't a sergeant, but a minor league diner sweep Sinning and grinning from the sewer to the altar We're just a bunch of apes on a big ball of water
Get back, I'm wiggin' out my stem cells and I'm way too fat for an umbiblical belt I got blood in my feces, I thought I found jesus Turned out to be a fetus that was ripe with diseases I didn't want to see it go to waste It was all smothered in butter and I wanted a taste When life throws eggs I like to make an embryonic omlette With extra cheese, I think I'm gonna vomit Drop a bassline between malarky and mumbo jumbo Yo, Dan the Man, pluck the tusks outta' Dumbo Copulate with Lois Lane in the daily planet broom closet Misconduct said my bosses Now I rock the couch like a vegetable Damn Doc Huxtable is on vacation in Mexico I need my ointment and check-up with a stethoscope MR.CACCIATORE ALWAYS GOT THAT DOPE Spinal chord sliced by a silvery slug And I'm all tweaked out on prescription drugs Doomsday comin' through with the remedy ILL music heels ask MC KINNEY If you don't watch out life'll kill ya These desolate feelings are all too familiar A little old lady got mutilated late last night I got the scoop from Lou on WJM news I can't eat sugar or I lose my cool Go back to the future in the teen wolf wool At high noon time when the shadows stand still I chew the food line with the fangs in my grill Expensive vitamins and wheat-germ on my window sill How many morons will it take to sign a bill Or flush it down the hopper Yo, Dan the Man, kill the keys like a fool moon monster Monster, monster, Howwwl!
When I come through, everything floats Sell your bike and get yourself a boat I ain't no clown and I won't pass You'll surely drown if you have no raft You’re like Doonesbury, you make me laugh Thinkin' you can escape my watery wrath Head for the hills, I'm a badass hurricane Topplin’ towns, huntin' out MCs for gobblin’ down I show no mercy, I ate and regurgitated New Jersey Headed out west, crushed California Too bad your Governator didn’t warn ya I tumbled NOLA then I felt regret 'Cause they got the best gumbo that I tasted yet I flooded Mississippi, you know that you can’t dis me You’re in a soggy state like my Rice Crispies Engulf your islands of Staten and Long Now a jet-ski is the best way to a Met’s game Yeah, I'll even douche Penn’s woods With my breakbeat downpour and microphone floods No machines, forget about chemicals Enter the ring, earth vs. animals Mind over matter in a heavy weight class Our elemental make-up is identically matched Yet we hate each other, it seems no solution She gives us a quake, we give her pollution She retaliates with a tidal wave, Her face’ll get paved, don’t mess with us, homegirl We’re wicked in the domebone, gettin' sick on your surface Cuttin’ holes in the O-Zone Don’t get me wrong I am no radical hippy Life is war and you cannot avoid it We’ll rock your world like MC Kinney Down to the core, then we will destroy it Ah, we should've kept cool like a porpoise Here comes the plague, better plug up every orifice I've got these pains in my head I think these humans and these dogs interbred They bury bones when I'm sleeping 10,000 naked skeletons, dancing on my ceiling


released December 25, 2005

All songs written by MC Devlin & Dan McKinney
Recorded and Produced by Dan McKinney at Dan's House Studio in Center Valley, PA, Spring/ Summer/ Fall 2005.

MC Devlin - Vocals, Guitar, Bass
Dan McKinney - Keys, Production, Backing Vocals
TJ Backwards - Vocals on Troubles in the Sewer
Mary Hawkins - Vocals on Nairobi

Backing vocals on Tomb Diggin' Shovels by TJ Backwards, Greg Walls, Corey Tray, Brigid Tray, Maureen Tray and Emma Blair


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