THE DEVLIN MANOR OF SPEECH

My rhyme-book's a sewer trench covered in graffiti
Riddled with apparitions so no vagrants pitch a tipi
It's here I've recorded many deep space missions
As a preposition magician or a noun scoundrel
with the adjective broadsword, I'll make you walk the verb plank
like the rudegirl who poured sugar in my word bank
Now I gotta squeeze a golden goose for the filling
of the cavity, it got real as the dentist was stabbing me
I socked him in the chops with a tube of Crest in fist
And dipped from the office with the cute receptionist
I'm a silver-bullet tongue cunning linguist
Besieged Wolfenstein and I'm still learning English
I taught myself to read so I could goof off in school
Who knew one day I would grab the mic and act a fool
I once wore my clothes backwards at a talent show
Now I write grim rhymes like Edgar Allan Poe
I took the stage gallantly on world wide tours
For ten bucks an hour I'll pressure wash your floors
On every song I sent 'em, I've been interjecting venom
My conjunction is a function between speech and rhythm

Bread-Butter-Cheese-Meat-Cheese-Butter-Bread
Can you get what I'm saying through your head?
Eco-catastrophe, geodesic dome upon the cinder cone
Blue ribbon microphone tone
Bread-Butter-Cheese-Meat-Cheese-Butter-Bread
Kid, get what I'm saying through your head
Our bass stimulation is a space simulation
Magnified sun ray, face incineration

My wife is a Latina, four legged ballerina
who I met while drinking quarts of ports in Catalina
Last night she saw my statue in a dream
with many spouts pouring my mortal blood forming a stream
And wash their hands did many lusty Romans
It doesn't take a genius to know when trust an omen
I henched it back to the trenches for a thousands cenches
Looking like a caveman on the benches
When suddenly a star from the belt of Orion
came flying out the sky at me screaming like a siren
I wield a mitt like a shield, swing a bat like a sword
and smashed it to pieces like a rotten gourd
The result was an explosion of such magnitude
the entire universe cracked and snapped in two
Grabbing one side in my left hand, the other in my right
I slapped 'em back together and screwed the lags tight
A banquet was held that night, fools were grillin'
Oxen were slaughtered and the people got their fillin'
Wine was served, bowl after bowl
Fifty or sixty rounds, it was out of control
Despues la fiesta, yo fui por siesta
Por favor mi esposa, no mas pesadillas!